


hit or miss

by abby10



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, F/M, Finsta Fic, Instagram, LGBTQ Character, Social Media, Social Media AU, Wedding Planning, i just love social media AUs and jily, instagram fic, lots of memes and i am not sorry about it, this is very silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-21 01:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17633483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abby10/pseuds/abby10
Summary: Social Media AU: A transformative few months in the lives of the Marauders and co as told through their finsta feeds feat. dumb memes, oversharing on social media, and wedding planning





	hit or miss

**Author's Note:**

> Hi so this is my first ever fanfiction!!! I love social media/texting AUs so much (head to my bookmarks for a bunch) and just got inspired by thinking about what would happen if the Marauders had finstas, aka fake instas, which are Instagram accounts where people post things they wouldn’t post on their normal account, aka their rinstas. And then I started writing and I ended up with my first fic!
> 
> The biggest thanks to the Jily Discord for all of the encouragement, and particularly Melina and MagicGirlinAMuggleWorld for being my guinea pigs!!!
> 
> Finsta names:  
> tulipevans – Lily Evans  
> jameshotterthanyou – James Potter  
> sincerenoir – Sirius Black  
> wolfymcwolfface – Remus Lupin  
> petesfinsta – Peter Pettigrew  
> quitecontrary – Mary MacDonald  
> dorkyfields – Dorcas Meadowes  
> marleythetrashqueen – Marlene McKinnon

**petesfinsta posted a photo** : _finally caved an made a finsta_  

wolfymcwolfface: _Finally is right! Now I can stop texting you screenshots of all of our posts_

wolfymcwolfface: ( _And comments.)_

sincerenoir: _pete wtf ur name is so boring_

jameshotterthanyou: _why isnt your finsta private??_

 

\---

 

**jameshotterthanyou posted a video** : _how lucky am i? @tulipevans <3_ 

quitecontrary: _i recognize that sound_

dorkyfields: _my little ginger chainsaw <3_

wolfymcwolfface: _Why do you film everyone sleeping all the time_

marleythetrashqueen: _this is why we make her sleep in other rooms during sleepovers_

sincerenoir: _is sex w u that boring that she immediately falls into a coma after_

tulipevans: _I HATE YOU ALL_

 

_\---_

 

**sincerenoir** **posted a photo** : _the true #loml_  

wolfymcwolfface: _The amount of times you have referred to this motorbike in a romantic or sexual way is concerning._

jameshotterthanyou: _babe? </3_

petesfinsta: _has my restraining order been lifted yet_

sincerenoir: _@petesfinsta no ur not allowed within 50 yards of my precious. its what u get for dripping gravy on the seat_

petesfinsta: _**nandos peri peri chicken gravy. at least write out the full name dont b disrespectful to the true luv of MY life_

tulipevans: _@petesfinsta honestly watching you eat that gravy made ME contemplate a restraining order_

 

_\---_

 

**tulipevans posted a photo** : _when your sis is being a complete cow but you have to grin and bear it because some of us actually care about our parents’ feelings <<< #healthyfamilydynamic_

quitecontrary: _sorry love. text if you need to talk x_

marleythetrashqueen: _ill fight her if you want. like trashy white lady reality show tv fight. pulling of the hair and throwing of the wine will be involved_

dorkyfields: _its cause she’s pissed about how unfulfilling her sex life is and is too uptight to get a vibrator. sad life she leads_

tulipevans: _@quitecontrary @marleythetrashqueen @dorkyfields love you ladies x_

 

 ---

 

**wolfymcwolfface posted a photo** : _I… don’t get the Shaggy meme?? Where did it come from?? And why is it suddenly everywhere??_  

petesfinsta: _what shaggy meme?_

jameshotterthanyou: _honestly no idea but im lovin it_

marleythetrashqueen: _either shaggy is a god or could kill a god and i dont want to find out whats true_

sincerenoir: _ur just jealous shaggy communes with the old gods_ _#allhail_

wolfymcwolfface: _@sincerenoir What does that mean?!?!_

 

\--- 

 

**petesfinsta posted a photo** : _is this safe to eat? best by dates r_ _just suggestions rite?_

tulipevans: _PETER THAT IS 4 YEARS PAST EXPIRATION_  

wolfymcwolfface: _THAT CONTAINS DAIRY PLEASE DO NOT EAT EXPIRED DAIRY PRODUCTS_

dorkyfields: _honestly… #yolo_

sincerenoir: _ill give you 10 quid if you eat it_

jameshotterthanyou: _@sincerenoir ill bet you 10 quid he cant keep it down_

 

 ---

 

**jameshotterthanyou posted a photo** : _bad news: pete puked in my sink. good news: im 10 pounds richer_

wolfymcwolfface: _Knew it._

tulipevans: _james this photo is disgusting why did you use portrait mode_

tulipevans: _also that sink had better be sparkling by the time i get home_

quitecontrary: _professional medical (in training) opinion: his puke should def not be that colour._

sincerenoir: _dammit pete_

 

 --- 

 

**dorkyfields posted a photo** : _women are just?? so pretty???? y am I so gay??_

tulipevans: _love dirty computer <3_

tulipevans: _and yeah tessa thompson could get it (sorry @jameshotterthanyou)_

marleythetrashqueen: _ugh same. i should not get so aroused during a thor movie but the combination of her and the hottest chris (fight me @quitecontrary) really does it for me_

jameshotterthanyou: _@tulipevans honestly… fair enough_

 

 ---

 

**tulipevans posted a photo** : _@jameshotterthanyou I FOUND OUR HALLOWEEN COSTUMES_  

sincerenoir: _1\. its february calm down 2. let me be the bella to ur edward and snail_  

quitecontrary: _the twilight renaissance lives!!_

dorkyfields: _saw a snail today… effervescent_

jameshotterthanyou: _i. LOVE_ _it omg_

jameshotterthanyou: _@sincerenoir we need to stop going in a trio costume ppl think were in a polygamous relationship_  

sincerenoir: _@jameshotterthanyou r u breaking up with me??_

 

 --- 

 

**marleythetrashqueen posted a video:** _snow? in England? its more likely than you think_

quitecontrary: _why are you in a crop top???_

tulipevans: _go inside and put on some real clothes omg youre gonna freeze_

dorkyfields: _the commitment to the look is impressive but absolutely bonkers in this weather_

marleythetrashqueen: _@quitecontrary @tulipevans @dorkyfields im headed to spoons and I havent been laid in like 3 weeks let me live_

sincerenoir: _nice arms mckinnon_

marleythetrashqueen: _nvm im putting a million layers on_

 

 ---

 

**petesfinsta posted a photo:** _had a rly weird sex dream last nite_

tulipevans: _pete wtf_

wolfymcwolfface: _Pete this is information no one needed please spare us_  

dorkyfields: _me asf honestly_

sincerenoir: _dont listen to the haters. give us the details_

wolfymcwolfface: _@sincerenoir What did you tell him finsta is?? Is this your fault??_

jameshotterthanyou: _PETER WHY IS YOUR FINSTA STILL PUBLIC_

 

**\---**

 

**quitecontrary posted a photo:** _does anyone else still play episode? i have a lot of thoughts about some of the stories i’ve been playing through_

marleythetrashqueen: _choices is where it’s at and you know it_

dorkyfields: _still livin the candy crush lifestyle over here_

quitecontrary: _@marleythetrashqueen you’re just wrong and @dorkyfields you are so behind the times it’s insane_

jameshotterthanyou: _@sincerenoir_

sincerenoir: _YES OMG WHICH STORIES R U PLAYING RN?? IM IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HAUNTED SORORITY ONE AND ALSO THE POP STAR FAKE PREGNANCY ONE_

 

\---

 

**jameshotterthanyou posted a photo:** _feels like today is gonna b a good day_

sincerenoir: _( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)_

wolfymcwolfface: _( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)_  

petesfinsta: _how do u get those emojis_

petesfinsta: _(but wat they said!)_

tulipevans: _little afraid of the boys being weird above but cant wait for date night tonight <3_

 

 ---

 

**tulipsoontobepotter posted a photo:** _THE NEW HANDLE SAYS IT ALL!!!!!!_

dorkyfields: _!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

quitecontrary: _THAT RING!!!!! I KNOW YOU SENT US A PHOTO BUT IM NOT OVER IT!!!!_  

wolfymcwolfface: _So happy for you two <3_

sincerenoir: _did james cry? he said he didnt but i dont believe him_

marleythetrashqueen: _I DON’T BELIEVE IN MONOGAMY BUT I DO BELIEVE IN YOU 2_

petesfinsta: _yay! can i help with the menu for the wedding_

jameshotterthanyou: _< 3 <3 <3_

jameshotterthanyou: _love you so so so much cant wait to spend literally the rest of my life with you #engaged_

 

\---

 

**sincerenoir posted a photo:** _looking into #strippers for james’s stag. anyone have any preferences from these photos?_

jameshotterthanyou: _we havent even set a date yet?!? u cant plan my stag before we start planning the wedding!!_

wolfymcwolfface: _Sirius, James already said that even though you’re best man, I’m in charge of the stag party because you’re completely untrustworthy_

petesfinsta: _i like number 4_

tulipsoontobepotter: _@petesfinsta me too_

jameshotterthanyou: _@tulipsoontobepotter_ _plz dont encourage this_

marleythetrashqueen: _@jameshotterthanyou we cant all be as lucky as lily to have me planning their party 0:)_

quitecontrary: _does that mean we wont be having strippers at the hen?? @marleythetrashqueen_

marleythetrashqueen: _@quitecontrary never said that }:)_

 

\---

 

**dorkyfields posted a photo:** _live reaction shot of the look on snape’s face when he spotted the ring on lily’s finger #snivellussneep_

tulipsoontobepotter: _i can’t believe you managed to get photos of that_

tulipsoontobepotter: _i would also say i can’t believe snape made such a scene in the produce section of sainsburys (one that isn’t even anywhere near his house wtf leave me alone) but i can_

marleythetrashqueen: _get #REKT snape_

quitecontrary: _i didn’t know it was possible for a mouth to get that thin and puckered_

petesfinsta: _@quitecontrary hes prob been eating lemons again. we saw him do that once_

sincerenoir: _im putting this image on flyers and im gonna decorate the whole of london w/ them. truly incredible_

jameshotterthanyou: _i love lily and all, but even if i didnt, getting engaged to her would be worth it just for this photo_

tulipsoontobepotter: _@jameshotterthanyou tru_

 

\--- 

 

**petesfinsta posted a photo:** _y does this always happen 2 me i h8 my friends_

sincerenoir: _blue hair rly suits you m8_

jameshotterthanyou: _no you dont you lurrrve us <3_

wolfymcwolfface: _Pete stop taking selfies on the toilet please. (Or at least make it less obvious??)_

wolfymcwolfface: _And don’t worry. The colour will wash out by the wedding!_  

tulipsoontobepotter: _@wolfymcwolfface it had better!!! it does not match the colour scheme!!!_

tulipsoontobepotter: _(omg i love getting to say things like that?? being a bridezilla is so fun)_

 

\---

 

**tulipevans2potter posted a photo:** _@marleythetrashqueen is this handle better for you princess?_

marleythetrashqueen: _yeah thx honestly I kept getting thrown off by the lack of evans in the name. need more time to adjust to this. we haven’t all been doodling your soon to be married name in our notebooks for years_

tulipevans2potter: _@marleythetrashqueen fake news_

quitecontrary: _@marleythetrashqueen is right and you know it_  

tulipevans2potter: _@quitecontrary FAKE NEWS_

sincerenoir: _omg @jameshotterthanyou i think evans likes u_

jameshotterthanyou: _@sincerenoir :O_

jameshotterthanyou: ( _luv you 4ever tho lils been doodling ur name on everything since the day i met you)_

tulipevans2potter: _@jameshotterthanyou i love you so much its insane_

sincerenoir: _get a room_

jameshotterthanyou: _@sincerenoir u say that like we arent currently in our room chilling in post-coital bliss_

sincerenoir: _ah so those were the noises i heard lily making. couldnt decide if it was sex or her realizing what a mistake shes made_

jameshotterthanyou: _@sincerenoir best man privileges revoked. congrats @wolfymcwolfface_

wolfymcwolfface: _Suck it @sincerenoir_

 

\--- 

 

**sincerenoir posted a video:** _GUESS WHOS GONE VIRAL ON TIKTOK BITCHEZ #ASTARISBORN_

dorkyfields: _holy shit that’s so many views??_

wolfymcwolfface: _I hate literally everything about this._

tulipevans2potter: _tiktok is a terrible app full of pedos and bullying and furries and weebs_

tulipevans2potter: _that said, well done_

quitecontrary: _@tulipevans2potter some anime is good you’re just a coward_

jameshotterthanyou: _that’s my brother!!!_  

petesfinsta: _i kno a famous person!!!_

petesfinsta: _but also whos mia kalifa and y doesnt her boyfrend kiss her_  

marleythetrashqueen: _HIT OR MISS_

marleythetrashqueen: _I GUESS THEY NEVER MISS HUH_

 

\---

 

**jameshotterthanyou posted a photo:** _dinner with lily’s family is going really well! finally telling petunia and vermin about the engagement around food was a brill idea thanks for asking_  

wolfymcwolfface: _You wear pea soup quite well. Really brings out the green in your eyes._

marleythetrashqueen: _how is it possible for such a bony woman to be such a complete cow? the world may never know_

petesfinta: _how was the soup_

dorkyfields: _been there. one time petunia “accidentally” spilled wine all over me. was def a hate crime_

sincerenoir: _petunia is my hero_

sincerenoir: _i mean shes a total shrew but like rn shes also my hero_

quitecontrary: _try washing in cold water to prevent stains!_

tulipevans2potter: _i am so so so sorry that happened you were being nothing short of lovely she’s just mad that my fiancee (!) is so charming and handsome and her husband is a whale_  

tulipevans2potter: _that said watching her dump soup on you was one of the funniest things i’ve ever seen. i’ve never seen mum’s face so red from restraining laughter_

 

\---

 

**marleythetrashqueen posted a photo** : _real drunk, real lonely, but did my makeup so feelin real cute_

dorkyfields: _wtf rinsta this you look incredible_

quitecontrary: _here for you!! not in the way i suspect you want someone to be here for you at the mo but still_

tulipevans2potter: _seconding both @dorkyfields and @quitecontrary here for you but also rinsta this your hair and tits look fantastic_

 

\---

 

**tulipevans2potter posted a photo:** _fun times post engagement party_

petesfinsta: _you went to maccas without me??_

marleythetrashqueen: _there is sauce??? in james’s hair???_

sincerenoir: _@jameshotterthanyou u messy messy boi ;)_

jameshotterthanyou: _@sincerenoir this kind of talk is why lilys family literally thinks we are in a polyamorous relationship!!!_

tulipevans2potter: _@sincerenoir yeh my great auntie actually gave me an intervention tonight because she thinks i’m marrying someone who “bats for the other team”_

sincerenoir: _okay heres an engagement gift since i forgot 1 today: ill keep the flirting to a minimum on the actual day of the wedding @jameshotterthanyou_

jameshotterthanyou: _@sincerenoir youre such a good friend omg_

wolfymcwolfface: _@sincerenoir @jameshotterthanyou He’s literally doing the bare minimum??_

sincerenoir: _@wolfymcwolfface LITERALLY DOING THE BARE MINIMUM: NAME OF REMUS’S SEX TAPE_

 

\--- 

 

**wolfymcwolfface** **posted a photo** : _The woman who took my blood today was so cute it made my heart race which made taking my vitals before having my blood taken a bit of a struggle. I was very unprepared for this cute new nurse. I needed warning!_

petesfinsta: _ask her out!!!_

wolfymcwolfface: _@petesfinsta No that’s so weird._

jameshotterthanyou: _i second pete but also were your tests all good?_

wolfymcwolfface: _@jameshotterthanyou Yeah pretty good! New meds seem to be keeping things stable so that’s cool._

sincerenoir: _im gonna chat her up for u_

wolfymcwolfface: _@sincerenoir PLEASE DO NOT GO TO MY DOCTOR’S OFFICE TO HIT ON THE NEW NURSE FOR ME!!!_  

sincerenoir: _no promises_

 

\--- 

 

**quitecontrary posted a photo** : _my ladies, champagne, and pretty dresses. living our best lives!!! #livelaughlove #justgirlythings_

jameshotterthanyou: _any hints??_

dorkyfields: _@jameshotterthanyou literally nto a chnce bye bye_

sincerenoir: _@dorkyfields how much champagne have you had?? do they just give it to you??_

quitecontrary: _@sincerenoir yep!!! because we r having “life changing moments” here that “need to be properly celebrated”_

sincerenoir: _@jameshotterthanyou change of plans. ur not wearing a tux. we are going dress shopping_

tulipevans2potter: _ugh I luv u ladies SoOO much its crazy!!!1! thx for bein my best friends 4 ever and coming with me today and being my bridesmaids and eveyrthing else @dorkyfields @marleythetrashqueen @quitecontrary_

marleythetrashqueen: _update: lily is locked in the fitting room crying about how excited she is to legally get joint custody of james’s cat_

jameshotterthanyou: _god i love her so much shes the perfect woman_

 

\---

 

**petesfinsta posted a photo:** _tryin 2 get in shape for the wedding #beastmode #journey #bodybuilding_

 

\--- 

 

**petesfinsta posted a photo:** _jk nandos was across the street from the gym and im weak_

wolfymcwolfface: _I was impressed you lasted even 7 minutes at the gym honestly_  

sincerenoir: _dont worry pete ill stay fit for the both of us_

 

\--- 

 

**sincerenoir posted a photo:** _took a fun field trip today!! luv getting to know my city <3_  _#londonliving_

wolfymcwolfface: _Sirius why are you at my doctor’s office?!_

wolfymcwolfface: _Sirius???_

wolfymcwolfface: _Sirius please answer my texts!!!_

jameshotterthanyou: _wtf lol_  

sincerenoir: _successful excursion! @wolfymcwolfface got cute nurse’s number 4 ya_

wolfymcwolfface: _I hate you so much omg_

 

\---

 

**dorkyfields posted a photo:** _honestly a bit impressed with the size of this pimple on my chin_

marleythetrashqueen: _you’ve grown another head omg_

tulipevans2potter: _how did this happen??_

quitecontrary: _i’ve got some spare aztec clay mask if you want some!_

sincerenoir: _u should record the eventual popping and post it on youtube. good way to go viral. i would know_

petesfinsta: _ive got 1 on my lower back that puts this to shame. get on my level_

 

\---

 

**jameshotterthanyou posted a photo:** _the wife to be @tulipevans2potter and i have finally selected our honeymoon destination!!!_

wolfymcwolfface: _Looks incredible!! Iceland is supposed to be beautiful!!_

tulipevans2potter: _!!! <3 <3 <3_

marleythetrashqueen: _yeah keep the ginger out of the sun good call_

dorkyfields: _@marleythetrashqueen it’s actually impressive what polar opposites they are when it comes to the sun_

quitecontrary: _@dorkyfields fingers crossed the kids inherit James’s skin so they can spend more than 15 minutes on the beach_

sincerenoir: _send me ur booking info_  

jameshotterthanyou: _@sincerenoir you are not crashing our honeymoon jfc_

 

\---

 

**tulipevans2potter posted a photo:** _we are now at 50 days to the wedding and i’m totally fine!!! everything is fine!!! #hahahahaha_

quitecontrary: _you are totally fine!! you are completely on track with all the planning stuff! perks of a small wedding!_  

sincerenoir: _@petesfinsta just 50 more days for your #beastmodejourney_

marleythetrashqueen: _that means 50 days until i finally hook up w/ your hot cousin thank god_

jameshotterthanyou: _50 days until we are married and i get to call you my wife :)_

tulipevans2potter: _@jameshotterthanyou :) <3_

 

\---

 

**wolfymcwolfface posted a photo:** _I have papers I need to be grading but I can’t stop playing Let’s Go Eevee…_

dorkyfields: _caught a shiny goldeen the other day so basically living my best life_

jameshotterthanyou: ( _let’s go pikachu is better)_

sincerenoir: _nerd_

tulipevans2potter: _don’t listen to my fiancee (@jameshotterthanyou <3) he wanted eevee but i made him get pikachu because i wanted eevee and he’s bitter_

jameshotterthanyou: _im a good partner @tulipevans2potter_

quitecontrary: _i literally had to give @marleythetrashqueen my copy because it was distracting me from med school hw_

wolfymcwolfface: _Instead of Friday Night Pub Night™ this week, can we just have a Pokemon wine night at someone’s??_

 

\--- 

 

**marleythetrashqueen posted a video:** _look at all these #nerds playing pokemon_

sincerenoir: _not everyone has as good taste in video games as us and pete ¯\\_(_ _ツ)_/¯_

dorkyfields: _you all are playing splatoon 2 like you’re not better than us_

petesfinsta: _actually im playin stardew valley_  

jameshotterthanyou: _@petesfinsta is objectively playing the best game so we cant really make fun :/_  

quitecontrary: _@jameshotterthanyou yeah but he’s playing it several years late so…_

tulipevans2potter: ( _also he chose jojamart instead of the community center)_

wolfymcwolfface: _@petesfinsta HOW COULD YOU?!_

petesfinsta: _@wolfymcwolfface i lik cola. seems like my kinda place_

 

\--- 

 

**dorkyfields posted a video:** _the amount of straight girls in this gay club_ _rn is literally so unacceptable!!! like not trying to make assumptions but like there is an actual hen party here rn??? and they’ve def been eyeing the men here?? like please leave this is not your space!!!!!_

sincerenoir: _straight ppl are the worst #bibitches_

marleythetrashqueen: _^RT @sincerenoir #bibibi_

quitecontrary: _i’m sorry you’re having to deal with this tonight :(_

dorkyfields: _update: a super badass person said something to them and they left!!! now chatting my saviour up <3_

dorkyfields: _update update: found my date to the weddding!!!_

 

\---

 

**tulipevans2potter posted a photo:** _IT HAS ARRIVED!!! and is being kept in an undisclosed location so @sincerenoir can’t sneak a peek_

jameshotterthanyou: _i like that you are more concerned about sirius seeing the dress than me_

tulipevans2potter: _@jameshotterthanyou you have more control. i know if he saw it, he would somehow spoil it for you_

sincerenoir: _that’s the closet in marlenes childhood bedroom in her parents place_

tulipevans2potter: _@sincerenoir HOW?!_

marleythetrashqueen: _u know how ;)_

tulipevans2potter: _@marleythetrashqueen @sincerenoir you 2 are gross. finding a new hiding place_

 

\---

 

**tulipevans2potter posted a photo:** _okay new spot for the dress!! @sincerenoir good luck finding it_

sincerenoir: _looks like the basement of dorcas’s stepmums place_

tulipevans2potter: _FUCK_

 

\---

 

**sincerenoir posted a photo:** _hey @tulipevans2potter if you need something borrowed or something blue ;)_

marleythetrashqueen: _why would she want a pair of chelsea socks??_

dorkyfields: _go arsenal_  

jameshotterthanyou: _I KNEW YOU STOLE MY LUCKY SOCKS!!!_  

tulipevans2potter: _well i already have my something borrowed but i do need something blue…_

 

\--- 

 

**quitecontrary posted a photo:** _@wolfymcwolfface is that you in this costa???_

dorkyfields: _is he on a date???_

jameshotterthanyou: _omg_  

petesfinsta: _good job remus!! proud of u_

tulipevans2potter: _omg is that the nurse???_

marleythetrashqueen: _she’s cute. love the hair colour. nice job_

sincerenoir: _I AM A MATCHMAKING GOD!!!_

 

\--- 

 

**wolfymcwolfface posted a photo:** _Well I logged onto finsta to post an update that I now have a date to the wedding with the cute nurse, but it seems that’s unnecessary_

quitecontrary: _SORRY NOT SORRY!!!_

tulipevans2potter: _yes!!!! will mark that down rn!!!_

jameshotterthanyou: _that’s my boi!!_

marleythetrashqueen: _yay!!!! (but am i the only one without a date now??)_

marleythetrashqueen: _(other than sirius he doesn’t count)_  

petesfinsta: _nice!! and @marleythetrashqueen nah im goin alone. gonna get smashed and dont wanna hav 2 worry about impressing someone_

tulipevans2potter: _@marleythetrashqueen you say that like you aren’t purposely going alone so you can shag my cousin_

sincerenoir: _I CANNOT REITERATE ENOUGH THAT I AM A MATCHMAKING GOD!!!_

 

\---

 

**tulipevans2potter posted a photo:** _petunia… is pregnant??? i’m going to be an aunt????? #what_

marleythetrashqueen: _omg i can’t believe vermin has managed to reproduce_

wolfymcwolfface: _You can be a good role model for the kid at least_

quitecontrary: _^^ true!! you’ll be a great auntie!!_

jameshotterthanyou: _cant wait to be the cool uncle that the kid likes more than their parents_

dorkyfields: _the thought of petunia and vermin engaging in The Act _™_ is horrifying and i now want to dump bleach all over my head to try and purge the image from my mind_

 

\---

 

**quitecontrary posted a video:** _here we go!!!_ _hen weekend with my ladies!!! last weekend that @tulipevans2potter is a free woman!!!_

jameshotterthanyou: _:) <3_ 

dorkyfields: _ready to get my spa on!!!_

marleythetrashqueen: _ugh i’m such a good maid of honour this place is so nice_

wolfymcwolfface: _I love Bath!!! Have a great weekend!!_

tulipevans2potter _I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH THIS IS AMAZING I AM SO LUCKY!!!!!!!!_

 

\---

 

**sincerenoir posted a photo:** _its time m8s_

marleythetrashqueen: _i don’t believe that you’re at a strip club rn. literally none of you would enjoy that_

sincerenoir: _@marleythetrashqueen um excuse me we are havin a gr8 time makin it rain all over the place_  

wolfymcwolfface: _Disregard @sincerenoir ‘s photo. We are most certainly not at a strip club._

 

\--- 

 

**jameshotterthanyou posted a photo:** _a weekend of great football, great lager, and great food. couldnt ask for a better stag or for better friends. now lets do this marriage thing!!! (in 5 days)_

petesfinsta: _am i the only 1 still recovering_

sincerenoir: _luv u jamesy even if you are marrying someone else </3_

wolfymcwolfface: _So glad you enjoyed it! I feel very lucky to have such great friends (and @sincerenoir) and can’t wait for the wedding!!_

marleythetrashqueen: _seems as though @wolfymcwolfface put on a weekend equal in excellence to ours. well done. (and go chelsea!!!)_

tulipevans2potter: _missed you can’t wait to marry you!!!!!_

 

\---

 

**marleythetrashqueen posted a photo:** _he has arrived. praise the lord_

dorkyfields: _this photo is so creepy lol_  

sincerenoir: _i mean hes attractive. but can he live up to the high bar ive set??_

marleythetrashqueen: _@sincerenoir you mean our hookups in sixth form and uni? yeah i think he’ll be fine_

sincerenoir: _:/_

tulipevans2potter: _little weird to see you so openly thirsting after my cousin on finsta but good luck i guess_

 

\---

 

**petesfinsta posted a photo:** _whens the rehearsal dinner_

jameshotterthanyou: _literally tonight pete omg_

wolfymcwolfface: _The wedding is tomorrow! How do you not know when the rehearsal dinner is??_

sincerenoir: _dont listen to those 2. it’s a week from yesterday._

petesfinsta: _just wanted to make sure_

 

\---

 

**sincerenoir posted a photo:** _todays the day!!! its the day i pull a taylor swift and speak now and convince @jameshotterthanyou to not say yes run away now (ill meet you when youre out of the church at the back door)_

wolfymcwolfface: _Sirius…_

marleythetrashqueen: _bet you won’t you chicken_

jameshotterthanyou: _not even scared because youd have to deal with the wrath of lily if you pulled a stunt like this_

sincerenoir: _@jameshotterthanyou ur right that little ginger is dead scary_

tulipevans2potter: 0:)

 

\--- 

 

**tulipevans2potter posted a photo:** _let’s do this ;) @jameshotterthanyou_

jameshotterthanyou: _meet you at the end of the aisle ;)_

tulipevans2potter: _i’ll be the one in white <3 @jameshotterthanyou_

 

\---

 

**dorkyfields posted a photo:** _the bridal party squad and their dates!!! feat. @marleythetrashqueen searching for lily’s cousin’s tonsils in the background_

quitecontrary: _reg looks so silly lol. but i loved getting to meet everyone’s dates!! hope they stick around <3_ 

dorkyfields: _@quitecontrary cattermole always looks silly he’s the least photogenic person i’ve ever met lol_

marleythetrashqueen: _i look fit in this idec_

marleythetrashqueen: _(also i love emmeline bring them back around plz they’re so cool)_

sincerenoir: _look at my matchmaking skillz im so good @wolfymcwolfface_

wolfymcwolfface: _@sincerenoir I want to say something snarky but honestly I’m too happy with Dora right now_  

sincerenoir: _@wolfymcwolfface gross lol_

 

\---

 

**sincerenoir posted a video:** _AS REQUESTED BY SO MANY OF YOU,_ _my adoring fans, heres my performance of my viral tiktok from last night. i know. im so talented its hard to believe im real #donthatemecuzuaintme_  

sincerenoir: _also congrats @tulipevans2potter and @jameshotterthanyou or whatever_

marleythetrashqueen: _i can’t believe you actually did this_

dorkyfields: _highlight of the reception tbh_

wolfymcwolfface: _Wow I can sense my disapproval in the background of this video through my screen. Impressive._  

petesfinsta: _i get the meme now!!_

sincerenoir: _hit or miss bitchez_

 

\--- 

 

**petesfinsta posted a photo:** _hav finally recovered from the wedding 2 nites ago_

quitecontrary: _thank goodness your snapchats have been concerning_  

marleythetrashqueen: _im jealous_

sincerenoir: _pub?_

wolfymcwolfface: _Omg Peter!!! You finally made your finsta private!!! So proud!!!_

 

\---

 

**lilyhotterthanyou posted a photo** : _off to iceland with the hottest husband ever!!! byeeeeee_

dorkyfields: _THE NAME CHANGE!!!_

quitecontrary: _HAVE THE BEST TIME LILY POTTER!!!_

sincerenoir: _glad u 2 emerged from your nest long enough to catch the flight_

sincerenoir: _(have so much fun luv u both lots will miss u)_

petesfinsta: _hav a good time!_

wolfymcwolfface: _The Potters!! Send lots of photos!!! Have fun!! Stay safe!!_

marleythetrashqueen: _don’t get pregnant lol_

marleythetrashqueen: _(LOVE YOU BOTH SO MUCH!!! POTTER FAN 4EVER)_

jameshotterthanyou: _@lilyhotterthanyou nice name ;)_

lilyhotterthanyou: _@jameshotterthanyou thanks i thought it was pretty good ;) got the idea from this cute guy. think i might call him my husband for the rest of my life <3_ 

jameshotterthanyou: _< 3 <3 <3_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Feel free to leave a comment, bookmark, or kudos. I will love you forever!!!
> 
> Come chat with me at my fandom sideblog (abby10fanfic.tumblr.com) or my even main blog (pareidolian.tumblr.com) xx


End file.
